


Chara is Evil!

by HeroicSpectre



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Agender Chara, April Fools' Day, Argumentative, As in the narrator of this story, But with lots of true facts, Chara calls everyone an idiot, Chara is the Narrator, Even themself, Evil Chara, Gen, Humor, Overanalysis?, Parody, Plotholes, Plotholes everywhere, Probably offensive, Satire, Scratch that there is no fourth wall, Soft Chara, Some people will hate this, Some people will love this, The world as Chara sees it, Tongue-in-cheek, Totally accurate character portrayals, fourth wall breaks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-01
Updated: 2017-04-01
Packaged: 2018-10-06 01:19:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10322255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeroicSpectre/pseuds/HeroicSpectre
Summary: Come sit with Chara as they discuss their evil plan with Asriel to destroy the entire world.





	

**Posted on April 1st** **, 2017 (April Fool's Day!)**

**Please forgive me for this...**

* * *

Greetings. I am Chara. The demon that comes when people call its name. With YOUR help, WE will eradicate the enemy and become strong. My partner... Chara... Yes, we have the same name! What an odd coincidence! You named me, but it's your name too? I know, this is so weird! Unless, of course, you thought Flowey was talking to ME when he said "Chara" fought to stop him from abusing his reset power in the pacifist run, but that's ridiculous! I wouldn't help with an innocent pacifist run! Soulless pacifist, maybe, but NEVER innocent pacifist! I'm an evil demon! All I do is KILL!

But, I wasn't always a demon. Don't get me wrong! I was still evil! I was just a normal evil bastard! I believe Asriel has already informed you that I hated humanity, but what that idiot didn't understand was that I hated EVERYONE! Why? Do I need a reason? I'm Chara! I don't need a reason! I'm just a one-dimensional pure evil character surrounded by three-dimensional characters that are flawed but not pure evil! Only an idiot would offer _me_ mercy! It's a kill or be killed world after all! This is the friendly RPG where no one has to die... until _I_ show up! =)

Anyway, it's hard to believe that before I was ruining the days of fellow genocidal maniacs who thought they were above consequences, I was once just some relatively normal genderless human child (I may be a psychotic murderer who deserves to burn in hell, but don't you dare assume my gender!) Why did I climb Mount Ebott? The place where travelers are said to never return from? Obviously, it was all part of me and Asriel's elaborate evil plan (OUR evil plan) to destroy the entire world! That's right! From the beginning, all I ever wanted was to obliterate everything! Humans, monsters, all of it!

Now, get this! Some IDIOT over here seems to think that I wasn't all that bad! Can you believe that?! Do they not remember the genocide run?! I swear, what a moron! They must be mentally challenged! Huh? What's that, idiot? I was "empty inside, just like Flowey?" I was soulless? No, idiot! Just because my soul was destroyed doesn't mean I was soulless! Besides, I had _your_ soul! I DON'T CARE WHAT FLOWEY SAID! Huh? Even after I bought your soul, I said that I couldn't understand yoursoul's sentimental feelings for the world, but I did say that I once could? Okay, even if I was soulless, SO WHAT? That's no excuse! Only Asriel is allowed to use that as an excuse! Because isn't that little goat child so cute?

Anyway, the idiot insists that there must be these things called "logic and reason" behind my actions, not necessarily things that would make me "good" or justify my actions, but things that would give my character depth and relatability, just like with every other person they had met. Idiot! What part of "I don't need a reason" don't you understand? I just hate everyone for no reason! What? That doesn't make sense? I'm not here to make sense! I'm Chara! Ugh, now the idiot is pointing out that Asriel knew the "unhappy" reason why I climbed the mountain, and if that reason was the destruction of the world, then why would he have ever agreed to our evil plan? Ahahaha! The answer to that, my naïve idiot, is that Asriel is a total dick! More on that later!

Seriously, though. Don't listen to that idiot. Let's be real, you can't solve everything by being nice, but this IDIOT decided to spare FLOWEY before they even knew his backstory! Seriously, idiot, why the hell would you spare Flowey BEFORE learning his backstory AND without knowing about the soulless thing? At that point, he hadn't demonstrated a single redeeming quality or any reason to forgive him whatsoever. Just like me, he wanted to destroy the entire world. He also murdered Asgore (his own father) right in front of you, and then he murdered you over and over again. Even _I_ wouldn't do that! I'm pretty much satisfied after killing someone once, but HIM... he just can't get enough! That was bad enough to watch, but imagine how Frisk over here felt about being killed over and over. Child torture: Asriel "Flowey" Dreemurr! My brother! I'm so proud of him! But it's okay, right? He was soulless! Also, as a side note, did you know that the genocide would have been impossible without Flowey? Without him, I never would've gotten past the Core's laser defense system. Thanks, Asriel! Still wasn't worth sparing your life!

SO ANYWAY, I tried to climb down the hole to the underground. It wasn't one of my greatest moments, as I slipped and fell. There weren't any flowers back then, so it hurt! I had fallen and I couldn't get up. I felt like I was going to die there, and what a shame that would have been! I called for help. I may be the ultimate evil who wants to kill everyone, but even I'm not above asking for help. Luckily, the second most gullible idiot I've ever met showed up! Seriously, the first human to ever appear in the underground falls from the sky, and what does he do? He takes them to his home and asks Mom and Dad, "Can we keep it?" I mean, seriously! I had RED EYES (Yes, that's totally canon! Even most idiots agree!) How could he not tell that I was evil?! And not just him, the whole monster population bought it! I don't know how I did it! I must be the greatest actor who has ever lived!

Seriously, do you think it was easy? Before I showed up, monsters were TERRIFIED of humanity! They hadn't even expanded beyond the RUINS, because they were that afraid to even get close to the barrier! They were just that afraid of being attacked by humans. Gerson always said that escaping the underground would have been pointless, because even if they did, the humans would've just killed them. I can't imagine why. I mean, every monster potentially has the power to purge the entire timeline, but that's only if they get seven whole human souls. Seven! That's a BIG number! To put that into perspective, it'd take about 1,241,166 nuclear detonations to instantly wipe out civilization, and we've got somewhere around 15,000 nuclear weapons, so… uh… The humans wouldn't worry about that! Why would monsters be concerned about history repeating itself? Crazy, right? Everyone knows that I'M the only threat to the world! For completely unreasonable reasons, monsters did not believe that humans would allow them to live on the surface peacefully, but apparently, my presence "filled the underground with hope" and made the monsters "fear humanity no longer." Asgore admired the "look of hope" in my eyes (He even compared it to the idiot's eyes. Wow, idiot, are you a genocidal maniac too?) And, he even called me "the future of humans and monsters." AHAHAHAHAHA! Well, they weren't wrong! I AM the future! And the future is oblivion!

Anyway, you all know how it goes from here. I poisoned Asgore just to be a dick and laughed manically at his pain and suffering. Asriel, of course, didn't find this weird at all, and he even wished that he had joined in! See? Total dick! I then told Asriel our evil plan, and then poisoned myself so Asriel could take my soul. Why a slow, painful death by poison? Because I'm just that hardcore! Also, I needed to do everything I could to make sure crybaby Asriel followed through with our evil plan. I can't believe that crybaby was all I had to work with. I just told you about how monsters took forever to expand beyond the Ruins in fear of human attacks. The monsters did NOT like humans, and yet, I couldn't find a single monster more suited for the job than Asriel. I mean, COME ON! The monsters get slaughtered and imprisoned by humanity, and the best accomplice I can find is a crybaby? How was there not a single monster who just wanted to murder all of them? Where the hell was someone like Undyne? Seriously, what the hell? If Undyne was around, she would've agreed to destroy humanity with me in a heartbeat! Oh? Did you forget? Undyne wanted to destroy humanity! She literally said "All humans will die!" She didn't try to take Frisk's soul _just_ for the barrier. She wanted Asgore to "become a god" and "give humanity back the suffering and pain they have endured." In certain neutral endings, Undyne takes over, and Sans comments that Undyne is "even more vehement about destroying humanity than Asgore." She's my kind of monster! Where was she when I needed her?!

Asgore too! You all know that Asgore ordered the executions of the seven humans who fell after me (probably more children, by the way). That's pretty bad on its own, but what everyone always happily sweeps under the rug is that he wasn't going to stop there. Asgore promised to destroy _all_ of humanity! "Oh, but he didn't mean it," I hear you say. THEN WHY DID HE SAY IT?! I get that they all hated the underground and wanted to escape, but why wasn't murdering seven innocent humans enough? Don't you think it's kind of messed up that no one but Toriel had a problem with this? Don't you think people should have been like, "Uhh... hey Asgore, killing seven humans and breaking the barrier sounds great, but, umm... maybe stop short of the genocide of an entire species?" But NO! Asgore's evil plan restored the underground's hope! Queen Toriel exiled herself over it, but no one cared! They were "SO hyped for the destruction of humanity!" They're almost as sick as me!

Hmm… you know... maybe I should have just murdered Asriel in front of Asgore and let HIM take my soul. Would that have still made Asgore declare war on humanity? And why stop there? Let's kill his wife too! Let him see how vile humans can be! Make him hate humanity as much as I do! I like this plan! Would the monsters have ever trusted humanity if I came in and killed... oh, let's say... a few hundred of them? Yeah... it's war. Monsters already feared humanity before I showed up. I just had to push them over the edge. At the very least, it's gotta be better than using ASRIEL! Man, I'M an idiot! Why didn't I do something like this? Why didn't I fill the underground with more fear and hatred? Why did I fill the underground with hope instead? Why would I ever fill anything with hope? A small good for the greater evil? What was I thinking?! Ends don't justify the means! Well, too late now.

ANYWAY, my resources were awful, but I had to make do. Somehow, I was going to turn crybaby Asriel Dreemurr into a seriAl murDerer. I just had to MAKE him love me! Luckily, he was quite lonely. That loser didn't have a single good friend before he met me. It was a classic "Oh, I'm a poor Prince trapped in a comfortable yet lonely prison" deal. Haha, so PATHETIC! He was SO DESPERATE for a friend that he couldn't even realize I was a psychopath who wanted to destroy the world! I, Chara, an evil psychopath, was Asriel's BEST friend. That kid was so messed up! He was an easy mark! Over time, everyone had come to seed us as siblings! Asgore, Toriel, Asriel, they all trusted me! To earn this trust, I just made up a bunch of crap about myself such as liking chocolate, liking flowers, drawing flowers, reading books, and pretending to be embarrassed when Mom and Dad showed affection for each other. I also showed Asriel my creepy face! Everyone trusts you when you make creepy faces all the time, right? Acting sinister is the perfect way to mask sinister intentions! In fact, it was just after giving him a creepy face when I told him part of our evil plan. I told him that we were only going to kill six humans and break the barrier, so that way, when I suddenly told him to blow up the whole village for no reason, HE'D DO IT! It was the perfect plan!

With Asriel given foolproof conditioning, I proceeded with our evil plan. I died, and then Asriel absorbed my soul. Sharing control with Asriel, I picked up my own dead body. Why? Honestly, I have no idea. It sure as hell wasn't to see those stupid flowers, but it wasn't to provoke an attack, either. I told Asriel to kill all the humans BEFORE they attacked, "when we got to the village," remember? Besides, THAT was going to happen anyway! Have you seen a monster with a human soul? Even monsters describe them as horrible beasts! Also, this _was_ my village. The villagers probably recognized me, and they all hated me as much as I hated them. Seeing Asriel with my corpse should've made them more likely to offer him a beer than to kill him! No, I guess I just wanted the humans to know who was really responsible for their demise! That's all!

All right, we're getting to my favorite part! Until now, that stupid goat still thought I just wanted to kill six humans to break the barrier, but when we got to the village, I told him, "LOL, nope! It's time to kill ALL the humans!" And the best part? Asriel KEPT WALKING! He walked all the way to the CENTER of the village! I mean, LOL, right? This guy's supposed to be, like, the ultimate cinnamon roll, but he just kept walking to the center of the village knowing there was a demon inside him who wanted to kill every single human there for NO REASON! See what I meant when I said Asriel is a total dick? Even before that, he had already committed assisted suicide and planned on stealing six souls!

Really, he's kind of a sociopath too! I mean, seriously, did you notice how... _well_ he took it when he (finally) realized I was actually an evil psycho? Don't you think he should have cried at least a little bit and said something like, "I can't believe the person who I thought was my sibling and best friend didn't even care about me! All along, I was just a tool for their evil plan to destroy the world! Frisk... I feel so heartbroken..." But nope! He just laughed it off and said, "Well, I guess maybe the truth is that Chara, the person who I promised to be best friends forever with, wasn't really the greatest person. Oh, well! I sure wish you were my friend, Frisk!" Uh... was he still soulless or something? I could've sworn he was abort to say, "I should've helped Chara commit suicide a long time ago!"

Ugh, sorry about all the digressions (except not really, because evil!). Anyway, Asriel even kept carrying my body and laid it down on a bed of golden flowers! All while I was trying to make him kill every single human in the village! I can't stress enough how much of a dick he was being! I mean, why else? Why else did he risk all those lives just to take me to the flowers? I don't even know why I mentioned those stupid things. I hate flowers, unless they're poisonous! Oh? What's that, idiot? Those pictures of golden flowers I drew? Just part of the elaborate ruse, obviously! Just like the sweater I "hand-knit" for Mr. Dad Guy! Mr. Dad Guy! Get it? Because he was kind of my dad, but not really? Funny, right?

Back to the village! I kept telling Asriel to kill those humans already, but he was like, "Nah, I like looking at your corpse on these flowers." Kid was kind of a creep. He was always talking about how inseparable we were, how special I was to him, how he had fun playing with me, how he cared about me more than anyone else, how I was the only one who understood him, and how he didn't want to live in a world without me. He even DRESSED like me, and we even wore matching heart lockets that said "best friends forever." I know psychopaths can be charming, but DAMN! He had some SERIOUS attachment issues. I abused him and he LIKED IT! What a weirdo! Who the hell _enjoys_ being used like a tool?! Well, a tool. Asriel is such a tool!

But anyway, the humans eventually spotted us and attacked (I'm not sure how a giant anthropomorphic goat got all the way to the center of a human village without attracting attention earlier, but whatever.) It was happening! Asriel was going to kill the humans, take their souls, and destroy the entire world! SHUT UP, FRISK! Ugh, now the idiot asks if I couldn't convince Asriel to destroy a single human village in self-defense, then how could I have possibly made him destroy his fellow monsters? Why would Asriel have ever destroyed the whole world? Simple! I would've just forced... Oh, for... The idiot also wonders that if Asriel and I shared joint control over his body, then wouldn't that mean the other six souls would've had control? Wouldn't they _all_ have been wrestling for control over Asriel? Doesn't it make more sense to assume that Asriel would've had dominant control, as we've seen in the pacifist run? How could I have overpowered Asriel AND six human souls? Oh, I don't know, Frisk. Maybe it's BECAUSE I'M CHARA!

But... of course... that crybaby didn't fight back. He just sat there and took it. If he wasn't gonna follow through, I'm not sure why he didn't just run away as soon as I told him my true intentions. Why did he wait until he had been mortally injured to run away…? Did he just want to take me to the flowers that badly? And… why did he take the time to pick me back up and carry me out? He might have lived if he had just ran away as quickly as possible. I was literally dead weight. Why…? Why did he care about me so much…? I used him… I betrayed him… I tried to make him destroy an entire village… He was about to die because of me… But even knowing all of that, he… h-he still s-smiled and carried my body with him. It w-would have been s-so much e-easier to l-leave me behind, b-but h-he… h-he… s-still… he still... he still loved me! Despite everything I had done, _he still loved me…!_

Wh-what? N-no! I'm not… I'm not crying! Big kids don't cry! G-get away from me, Frisk! I'm n-not… I'm n-not…

* I hide my face behind a bouquet of flowers.

I-I'm n-not c-crying…!

* …

…I'm not…


End file.
